Mowing Down MC's Like I'm Mowing a Lawn

(For those of you who are not lifetime white boy rap fans, that line was a reference from a Beastie Boy song. $5 to the first person who can figure out the song!)

This weekend, I got to be an MC! A master of ceremonies! WHAT? Yes, I was asked to be the MC for the county fair queen contest back home. How did I get involved in this? Well, 9 years ago, I was in this very same pageant and I won 1st runner up. The following year, they allowed me to speak, to give a farewell speech of sorts (what were they thinking?) and I KILLED! I almost got a standing ovation for making a joke about how cold it was in the building (That's not really a Morganism because I said "almost" so shush!).  So when the long-time pageant announcer retired, someone thought of me to host pageant. They asked. I said yes. The rest is history!

I had my mom take pictures and videos because I'm such a geek and I was incredibly excited about this opportunity. 

The Hostess with the Mostest

The girls posing after their dance routine. (There is no talent portion in this pageant so this kind of serves as everyone's talent portion all at once.  That way, the audience doesn't have to sit through 9 different versions of the song "Memories".)

This is Darcy, the entertainment.  She sang songs so I didn't have to stall toooooo much.  She won Miss Congeniality a few years ago I believe. 

This is the winner of the 2009 pageant.  During the pageant, the queen gets to sit on one side of the stage and do a lot of clapping. 

Because, my dear folks, when I MC-ed this event, I had to stall while the girls changed from dance gear to professional wear to formal wear.  I had to stall a LOT.  I had to stall so much so that at one point during the pageant, I decided to start naming off sponsors.  There were only 7 big time sponsors so to make it take longer, I made the audience clap for each one.
"The first sponsor this evening is Castongia's.  Let's give them a round of applause.  The second sponsor this evening is The Doghouse.  Thank you, Doghouse!"
It was awkward.  And AWESOME!! :) Took up enough time to get me through!

During the professional wear portion, the girls had to answer an impromptu question. The girl in the picture won first runner up.  Most of the girls did fine.  One girl went all Debbie Downer on us and started talking about her parents divorce.  Not fine.  She did not win.  Wahh wahhhhhhh. :(

Here are the girls in their evening gowns.  Really really pretty dresses this year.  The crowd actually gasped at the blue sequined dress 5 girls from the left (that is NOT a Morganism, they really did. The audience was REALLY in to this pageant. It was like a firework show with the oohs and aahs, too funny).  The dress was gorgeous and it looked great on her.  I think it helped her win 2nd runner up actually.

This is the former queen giving her farewell speech.  Hey queen, guess what? Some day nine years from now, you may be standing up on that stage again!! (If you're lucky! I may not want to give it up! Ha!)

And finally, here are your winners.  The tall girl (she is SOOOO tall) won Miss Congeniality.  Blue sequins was 2nd runner up.  The queen is the third.  The winner of first runner up is on the end on the right.  She comes from a long line of Fair Queen court sisters and cousins.  Seriously.  I can count at least 5.  Those girls were meant to be in pageants, I think. 

Now it's time to show you the video.  I edited it to show the important parts.  Listen closely to how I say my name at the beginning.  Yikes.  I was really nervous and out of breath at this point so my name came out in a really sing-songy voice.  Mor-GAN Kei-PER Thorn-BURG.  Yowza.   Enjoy. 






Now even with all the flubs and the ridiculous stalling practices, they still asked me if I would do it next year.  I think MC Thornbizzle might have to show up for 2011! Yes yes y'all and ya don't stop! :)

If you'd like to read the hometown paper's review of the pageant, it can be found HERE.   I'm mentioned TWICE! Whee!!